I wish I really knew how to deal with this.
What do I do when you are all I think about?

Your smile lights up my life but tears through me like a scalpel tearing at my wounded flesh.

I feel so ridiculous. I know that you probably couldn't take me seriously, so I guess I fake what you think right now. Have you ever thought, for the most fleeting of moments, that possibly when I smile just from looking at you, I'm not being a dork? I'm not being silly? You are everything I have ever wanted, and you are right here, so often. How could I not smile?
Is it ridiculous that I want to know if you could love me?

I typically hate rumors about who I datelikekisslove but I heard one about you & me. How could I be anything less than proud to even be your rumored girlfriend?

Because you know what it's like? You know what really gets me? With anyone else I would make such a conscious effort. To decide if they embarrassed me. Or to analyze their character and flaws thereof. Not with you. It doesn't cross my mind. There is nothing but you when I'm with you.

Why is it that I'm so compulsive with you?
I wouldn't dare touch or look at or love another guy that wasn't you.
The first person to hurt you would, conveniently, be the first person on my "to kill" list.
I avoid hating everyone but the person who keeps us apart. She needs all of my hate.
Why can I not unlove what isn't mine?

With the sluts and players in our sickening network, taken-broken status flips and flops so often. Yours never seems to, but if it did, my heart would grow wings. It would swell and bleed with happiness. It would thump to a different beat. It would pound the rhythm of complete love for you rather than lie-low unfulfilled desire.

(To everyone, I am really not creepy. I just ksdljflk. I don't know at all.)